As you all know the zombie uprising is coming ever closer as the testing of our DNA is coming more acceptable. This is one of the main things that will cause the outbreak (either that or Sam Lee's rabies mutation idea). Or a mutated STD which will be spread through sexual activity through men and women, we shall call this virus the M.A.R.I.A virus. Now onto the plan......

Now this will be set in the county town of Warwickshire in England and it we will be hiding out and defending ourself in Warwick Castle. Warwick castle is about 2859km wide and 678km high this will give us a vantage point over the zombies and can easily see where they are coming from from the high battlement walls that perimeter the castle. Also the east side of Warwick Castle is completly surrounded by the River Avon. Now i shall tell you how we get there from my Hometown of Sheffield.....

When the infection starts we only have a matter of time before we can get vital supplies. In the likely case of a zombie outbreak me and my freinds have been a member of our local army base for some years now. We have prepared for this outbreak by digging a number of items into a 3 foot hole:
7 SA80A2 assult rifles
5 Minimi LMGs
500000 5.56 ammunition
3 L96 'long' Sniper rifles
1000 Green spot 5.56 ammunition
2 MK19 grenade launchers
20000 Grenade Shells
Morter
Morter Shells
3 Humvee Assult Carriers With mountable 50 Cal Turrets
50000 50 Cal rounds
and a Chinook

We will use these as we take over Warwick Castle and defend ourselfs. Me BadmanChad and BadmanLaverick will all drive the humvess's while ThePostman will fly the chinook we will seperate the supplies between the 3 cars while ThePostman will take any of the un-infected and food supplies (we will raid any shop we can find of a 2 mile radius of the army base and we will then have our last supper at KFC. While we make our way to Warwick Castle hopefully we will not have to use to much ammo on the humvee's 50 Cal turrets but if so we are liable to initiate what i like to call "Make 'em all into pink mist". We will then all infiltrate the grounds of the Castle hopefully not finding any infected and set up a nice small well run base. We will then place around the battlements and high walls i LMG on each wall with 2 SAS0s as support on the walls most prominent from attack. Our Mk19's will be towards the east of the castle facing inwards towards the courtyard as it is impossible for the zombies to attack because of the River Avon. ThePostman will have all the 3 L96 longs will sit in the tallest tower (he has 3 incase of guns jamming) he will also act as a spotter.

The camp will hopefully last a couple of months and trapping local wildlife to eat and herbs that grow in the castle grounds (depending on what time of year). As the population declines of the United Kingdom we are on the rise because of the 30 inch thick sandstone slabs and the steel gates. We will run as it was in medieval times, the peasants will live out in the courtyard while the more valuable people will stay in the castle (peasants will be aloud in the dungeons at winter). This will not only toughing up the peasants for any kind of battle this will have an educational factor too for the children.

As the days pass by we notice things becoming alot more quiter than they normally are you will normally see one or two of the infected run past the castle while chasing a majestic wild hare or some naked hooker trying to get some crack of their zombie pimp Manuel, but now things get more eerie and the camp is getting more tense.....

At around dusk 6 months after we had took over the castle we notice there are afew zombies stood on the horizon and ask ThePostman to scope them for us (as no one has seen any action since we have moved in) as he is about to pull the trigger he has a distraought look on his face as though he has just shit his pants he throws us down his trusty bird watching binoculars (I forgot to mention he likes to watch the wildlife) and tells us to look at them. What we see is not jus afew zombies but thousands, we gather up all the men (see operation zombie sheep to know how we class the men from the boys) and tell them to strap up. When the zombies charge forward the people on the battlements will as i say turn the zombies that are first coming into 'pink mist'. ThePostman will then set co-ordinates for mortar fire which will be BadmanLaverick and BadmanChad's job. This will have took all of the zombies out by now and we all celabrate by doing do soulja boy-crank dat and the macarena. BadmanChad BadmanLaverick and ThePostman all chill up on the towers while i tell all the foot soldiers what a cracking good job they have done and when i become priminister they will not have to pay for anything again (not even xbox 360 games)!

But still the boys on the top of the tower look even more distraught now i mean they look like they all just shit there pants ThePostman gives them all a rifle and they start shooting i look down the binoculars and see the most terryfying thing i have ever saw a more zombies, as far as the eyes can see i tell the people not to worry as they cannot come throught the sandstone slabs. But due to acid rain the slabs are britle and they chew there way through them i shout "Damn you Industrial Revolution DAMN YOU TO HELL" because i am HARDCORE.

We then gather all suppies we can and load into the humvees and the chinook. i will go out into the field to gather Ninja Supplys for the Last Battle while slaying the dead with my katana and the ninja stars i made when i was bored in my quarters. Once the inevitable of me getting over run happens BadmanChad and BadmanLaverick will do a very heroic thing and drive out to safe me while 2 peasants operate the 50 Cals and ThePostman will provide air cover/support.

I will eventually go into a blind rage and i will have to unleash my ninja fighting style which i had practised on the lamppost outside my house with all the kicks and punches and flips because i am supprisingly nimble. I will then turn mutant (i turn into this because my daily intake of chicken is more then 500% higher than any normal human) then in my new form i will kill all the zombies but in doing so create a new problem............. the unstopable..................Chicken Man. When i clear out all the zombies around me i will run towards BadmanLaverick's humvee but the zombies get me as i only have weedy chicken legs . I will pull out the nuke that i had stored in my belly button and tell them to aboard ThePostmans chinook and fly to to Greenland as the virus cannot thrive up there as it is too cold. I will again pray to my god Chris Redfield and blow myself up like the axe man out of Resident Evil 5 and vaporised apart from my belly button as it was near the nuke and too close to be vaporised.I become a national hero and then have a statue of me in every town solid gold saying 'Luke Milnes zombie overseer resident evil fan and all round legend' did i mention it was me bumming Rebbeca Adams.

THE END

ZN13©